Work isn’t going as well as could be wished. Every time I do something that takes initiative, my supervisor slaps my wrist. I get the feeling that she’s intimidated by me somehow. I even asked my team leader if I’d been out of line on the last thing I got my wrist slapped for and she said no, that the supervisor seems to be feeling threatened for some reason.
Well, I can think of a few reasons. I think she’s insecure in this position. She’s not an RN. She’s an LPN who happens to have a degree of some sort. She’s worked Long Term Care, but never worked home care, so is not incredibly knowledgeable about the job. I think she’s feeling overwhelmed with the position and all it entails. She frequently seems frazzled. She might be aware that I interviewed for her job and maybe assumes I resent her? She had to sign a copy of my university transcript for a funding application, so is aware of my grades (mostly A’s, 3 B’s, final GPA of 3.75) and that I now have my degree. Yes, I admit, I have told her what to do a few times and there was also the time I told her off, even though I later apologized. So, I readily admit that some of it could be my fault.
But I don’t know how long I can stand her need for control. It was so bad last Thursday that I actually went home after work, polished up my resume and sent it off to a couple of Universities to apply for a teaching job. Yes, that is a dream of mine. I love to teach, and now that I have my degree, that’s possibly within my reach. However, I have no desire to commute all the way into the city for work, nor do I wish to move to the city, if I could even afford to. So, it might just be a pipe dream at this point in time.
However, one of my friends, a fellow Ontarian, has let me in on her plans to retire this fall and move back to Ontario and just work casual there. Well, I’m in no position to retire or just work casual, but the dream of moving back to Ontario is still there. And she just revived it with her plans. In Ontario, there are colleges and universities located where housing is cheaper than the city here. But are there jobs? Is it realistic to consider packing up and moving all that way at this point in time? Would I be able to sell my house? And I’m always reminded that the “grass is always greener...”and “jumping from the frying pan into the fire.”
Much prayer still needed...